How to Transfer (or, I’ve made a huge mistake and need to hit the restart button)

Making a college decision as an 18-year-old is tough, mostly because you’ve had zero practice with it.  Think about it: every school you have attended up until this point probably has been either chosen for you or was just the next one in order.  For most people your parents moved into a certain town (often before you were born) based mostly on proximity to their jobs, and the town has an elementary school and so you went to it, then they sent you to the next one until finally you are going to graduate and now you actually get to pick your school.  

For the top echelon kids, this is fairly straightforward as there is a multitude of college rankings that tell you what schools are the best of the best (like Top Gun).  These are the Harvardyales of the world.  For the weaker students, or students who didn’t hit their stride in high school, this is also straightforward as you are just looking for a school that will accept you. (Don’t sleep on McGann’s School of Basketweaving… we are on the rise, and our football team is next level).

But for the vast majority of students in between these two very specific categories, there are literally thousands of options.  Sorting through these and finding THE ONE is a difficult challenge (which is why you need me! Operators are waiting for your call…).  But what happens if you get it wrong?  Don’t worry, it happens sometimes.  This is why some students end up transferring.  Here are my top five pieces of advice for anyone that is even thinking they may end up trying to transfer to another school.

5. Know the deadlines.  Go to the college’s admissions page of the school you want to transfer to and look up the deadlines for transfer applicants.  Circle these on your calendar.  Have to get your application in before the deadline.

4. Keep building your resume.  Join a club, get a job, volunteer somewhere.  Keep busy by building your resume so that your application as a transfer is better than your application as a high school senior.  Just because you aren’t happy in your current school doesn’t mean you can’t keep growing as a person.

3. Don’t tell your roommates.  Or friends, or hallmates, or really anyone.  They probably love their school, and might be a little salty if you keep telling people how much you don’t like it and want to leave.  And if for some reason you don’t end up transferring, you’ll look pretty silly for having announced it to everyone.

2.  Tell your story.  When applying to your next school, give yourself the opportunity to tell your story and why your journey needs to have a little detour in it.  Preferably this is through a personal interview, but if the college you are applying to doesn’t allow interviews, you can tell your story in your personal essay.  Make sure the college you are applying to knows the human story behind this decision.  Make it personal and heartfelt, not just “this plays sucks and I want to leave.”

1. Live in the library. You hate your current school, yes? Good. Fine. Live in the library then. Spend the majority of your time studying, learning, improving, and getting the best grades you can. Those grades will help you get into that next school.

Where do we go from here?

Last night I stayed up late to watch my New England Patriots lose to the Buffalo Bills.  Wait, that’s not right.  Saying they “lost” is not accurate.  They got trounced, right from the beginning.  

In sports, it’s painful to lose a game like that.  At the same time, though, for most of the players there will be another season, another game, another play… another opportunity - and they need to be ready for it.

All of us face setbacks, every single one of us.  Some of us more than others, sure, but the bottom line is everyone faces a situation where things didn’t go right, or they wish they could do it differently, or they straight up fail.  Successful people are those that demonstrate resilience.  They can pick themselves up, dust themselves off (or, as Jay-Z would put it, brush your shoulders off), and keep going.

When I counsel students, I can often predict how successful students are going to be in the future based on how well they face adversity in the present.  Some people are better at demonstrating grit and toughness than others, and it typically leads to more success in the future.  

One of my favorite books on this topic is “Grit” by Angela Duckworth.  She defines grit as having passion and persistence for very long-term goals.  In 2013 she gave an excellent TED talk about grit, and here is a quick clip from it: 

So, how “gritty” are you? How much resilience do you possess? Are you able to overcome setbacks? If so, your future is bright no matter how many setbacks you get (and sometimes in life, you can get a lot…).

Top Ten Schools With a January 15th deadline (sort of)

We’re well into January which means a ton of seniors have submitted a ton of applications to college (and gotten quite a few acceptance letters too).  January 1st is a big date for colleges, as many of them set that date as their deadline date.  It’s a good one too because it gives students the entire previous week while they are not in school to wrap up their apps.  Who knows, holiday family time might be an outstanding way to brainstorm responses to the supplemental questions (“Hey grandpa, pass the mashed potatoes and while you are doing that, do you have any ideas on what collaboration means to me and how I incorporate it into my academic life?”)

However, just because we’ve blown past the new year doesn’t mean there aren’t lots of colleges whose deadlines are still approaching.  The ones right around the corner are the ones due on January 15th.  Below is my list of Top Ten Schools with January 15 Deadline Dates (sort of… two of them are due on 1/14):

10. Clark University

I could get in serious trouble with my cousins Spencer for putting Clark #10 as he is a proud alum, but at least it made the list.  A quality school in Worcester, Massachusetts which is a sneaky-good college down (Clark, WPI, Assumption, Holy Cross…)

9. Colgate University

A tremendous liberal arts college in western New York, named after the guy who started the toothpaste company (despite this, no pre-dental program).  Located only an hour away from Cooperstown for any of you baseball fans.

8.  Trinity College (January 14th deadline) 

Trinity is a phenomenal academic college located in Hartford, Connecticut.  The academics are first rate, the campus is first rate, the area surrounding the campus is… not.  And, did you know, they have one of the best all time men’s and women’s squash programs?  If you play squash and you are any good, this is where you go.

7.  Emerson College (January 14th deadline)

Another one of the January 14th deadline schools (what gives?), Emerson is a premier arts school in the country, especially for media, communication, and film.  Their list of majors is fantastic.  They also just opened a new Los Angeles campus where students can study for a semester or year while still attending Emerson.  

6. Rensselaer Institute of Technology

How do you spell “Rensselaer” correctly?  You just have to remember that it has “ela” in the name.  Despite this, you cannot major in English at RIT.  It is predominantly for STEM majors.  Extremely strong school, but not quite at the MIT or CalTech level (and a bit easier to get into than those two).

5.  Tulane University

N’orleans!  Large, high-quality university located in a decidedly old-school, laid-back, culturally rich city.  Tulane offers an experience few other schools can offer.  And if you went to school here you can eat beignets every single day.  Really tasty and super-fun to say.

4.  University of Southern California

There are kids that want to go to college in a city, there are kids that want to go to college in a large city, and then there are kids that want to go to a college in LOS ANGELES.  Combine sunshine and surfing with a fantastic school (including a very active alumni base all around the country… but primarily in California).

3. Villanova University

I’m surprised I ranked ‘Nova this high too on my list, but it is an incredible school.  Small to medium-sized (closer to medium), liberal arts-based but strong in the sciences, with an incredible campus community. 

2.  Pepperdine University

Pepperdine has the most gorgeous campus in the world.  No other campus is close.  Seriously.  The. Most. Gorgeous. Campus. Go ahead, go to their website.  See for yourself. 

1. McGill University

McGill is one of the greatest colleges in the country not in our country (I know that sentence does not make sense). Criminally underrated by American kids, this school is one of the best in the world and gives students a unique experience in Montreal. Speaking French is not necessary, but you’ll definitely learn some here!

So… Why Am I Doing This? (Otherwise known as “The Mission Statement”)

OK, confession time: I’ve been thinking about being a college coach for years.  Years.  My wife Laura and I would go for long walks together and discuss it with each other.  This is how the term and the concept “your next four” even came to be, on one of these long walks.  We were talking about segments of your life.  Few people can see so far ahead to plan their life out thirty, twenty, or even ten years ahead.  But envisioning what you want to do for the next four years of yourself seemed… doable.  Planning for your next four years and how you want it to look, what you want to accomplish, and what you want that experience to be seemed doable, and vital.

And yet, I didn’t do anything with the idea.  I had a failure to launch, so to speak.  I still couldn’t see a true motivation to make this happen.  I knew I could be helpful to people, I knew there was a need for this help, but I held off.  

However, recently with talking to kids and families, I have noticed a shift in people’s feelings towards this entire process.  Instead of excitement about possibilities, kids are anxious and facing their future with dread.  Thinking about their future has become a - ugh - chore.  Something they have to do, but definitely don’t want to.  

However, the fact is that the years that (most) students go to college, age 18 to 22, are arguably the most exciting, fun, and adventurous times of your life.  And college is perfectly designed for this experience.  It is a small town consisting of other 18 to 22 year olds, having fun, studying and learning together, and oh yeah, when you get out you can now make way more money than before you started when you were just a high school graduate.  It’s like if you told an eight year old they can live at DisneyWorld for the next four years.  “Yes, sounds good, sign me up.” 

So, the mission.  What do I hope to accomplish?  First, to make this process fun and exciting, and not dreadful.  To help students think about possibilities.  To get kids to be so excited for the future that they are beside themselves with anticipation.  The second is to reduce anxiety.  Make things easier.  To reinstitute a “we got this” feeling for families.  When I talk to parents, I rarely hear “we got this.”  I hear “we have no idea what we are doing.”  That is exactly what I hope to change.