How to Transfer (or, I’ve made a huge mistake and need to hit the restart button)

Making a college decision as an 18-year-old is tough, mostly because you’ve had zero practice with it.  Think about it: every school you have attended up until this point probably has been either chosen for you or was just the next one in order.  For most people your parents moved into a certain town (often before you were born) based mostly on proximity to their jobs, and the town has an elementary school and so you went to it, then they sent you to the next one until finally you are going to graduate and now you actually get to pick your school.  

For the top echelon kids, this is fairly straightforward as there is a multitude of college rankings that tell you what schools are the best of the best (like Top Gun).  These are the Harvardyales of the world.  For the weaker students, or students who didn’t hit their stride in high school, this is also straightforward as you are just looking for a school that will accept you. (Don’t sleep on McGann’s School of Basketweaving… we are on the rise, and our football team is next level).

But for the vast majority of students in between these two very specific categories, there are literally thousands of options.  Sorting through these and finding THE ONE is a difficult challenge (which is why you need me! Operators are waiting for your call…).  But what happens if you get it wrong?  Don’t worry, it happens sometimes.  This is why some students end up transferring.  Here are my top five pieces of advice for anyone that is even thinking they may end up trying to transfer to another school.

5. Know the deadlines.  Go to the college’s admissions page of the school you want to transfer to and look up the deadlines for transfer applicants.  Circle these on your calendar.  Have to get your application in before the deadline.

4. Keep building your resume.  Join a club, get a job, volunteer somewhere.  Keep busy by building your resume so that your application as a transfer is better than your application as a high school senior.  Just because you aren’t happy in your current school doesn’t mean you can’t keep growing as a person.

3. Don’t tell your roommates.  Or friends, or hallmates, or really anyone.  They probably love their school, and might be a little salty if you keep telling people how much you don’t like it and want to leave.  And if for some reason you don’t end up transferring, you’ll look pretty silly for having announced it to everyone.

2.  Tell your story.  When applying to your next school, give yourself the opportunity to tell your story and why your journey needs to have a little detour in it.  Preferably this is through a personal interview, but if the college you are applying to doesn’t allow interviews, you can tell your story in your personal essay.  Make sure the college you are applying to knows the human story behind this decision.  Make it personal and heartfelt, not just “this plays sucks and I want to leave.”

1. Live in the library. You hate your current school, yes? Good. Fine. Live in the library then. Spend the majority of your time studying, learning, improving, and getting the best grades you can. Those grades will help you get into that next school.

Where do we go from here?

Last night I stayed up late to watch my New England Patriots lose to the Buffalo Bills.  Wait, that’s not right.  Saying they “lost” is not accurate.  They got trounced, right from the beginning.  

In sports, it’s painful to lose a game like that.  At the same time, though, for most of the players there will be another season, another game, another play… another opportunity - and they need to be ready for it.

All of us face setbacks, every single one of us.  Some of us more than others, sure, but the bottom line is everyone faces a situation where things didn’t go right, or they wish they could do it differently, or they straight up fail.  Successful people are those that demonstrate resilience.  They can pick themselves up, dust themselves off (or, as Jay-Z would put it, brush your shoulders off), and keep going.

When I counsel students, I can often predict how successful students are going to be in the future based on how well they face adversity in the present.  Some people are better at demonstrating grit and toughness than others, and it typically leads to more success in the future.  

One of my favorite books on this topic is “Grit” by Angela Duckworth.  She defines grit as having passion and persistence for very long-term goals.  In 2013 she gave an excellent TED talk about grit, and here is a quick clip from it: 

So, how “gritty” are you? How much resilience do you possess? Are you able to overcome setbacks? If so, your future is bright no matter how many setbacks you get (and sometimes in life, you can get a lot…).